It occurs to me that I haven't updated my blog lately, so I'm updating my blog to say that I have no updates to my blog.
Do people even blog anymore? I certainly don't. It's all podcasts, Snapchat and Deliveroo, or so my young friends tell me.
Well, friend - singular. His name is Maurice. I say 'young'. He's actually 47, but he moisturises.
He's not actually a friend, strictly speaking. More of an acquaintance. Well, he works for me.
He's not even an employee, to be entirely accurate.
I sacked him two years ago for certain pecuniary irregularities. I never liked him. Always struck me as rather odd. Muttered to himself a lot. Wrote in a little book. But he did smell nice.
He kept turning up for work months after being let go, asking for holiday pay and shouting at me about UFOs, devil worshippers, Michael Gove and so on and so forth.
There's a restraining order now.
I miss Maurice.
I don't know why I'm telling you this.
Ten years. I've been doing this blog for ten years.
What a waste of time.
I just died reading this. Do you go towards the light or away from it? I can't remember now. God it's warm in heaven.
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